The American Way??

Today I drove from the small college town where I live to a small town just Southwest of us, my goal was to drop off a load of our children's excess stuff, I was struck by the growing extremity of American excess. I passed by mile after mile of brand new huge constructions. In the 100 year old neighborhood I live in, most of the large older homes have been converted into apartments as the size of the American family decreased from 6 or more children to one or two adults living with one or two children. So the question then remains, why are these new homes that are taking over Americans farmland with their size and majesty necessary for the decreasing American family size? Then I passed by the oldest SuperWalmart in our town that has had 3 Superwalmart's sprout from our farms in the last 5 years. The answer was exceedingly clear. If Superstores need that big of a space to carry the items we need in our homes, obviously we need bigger homes. The American way is for bigger. A huge plastic toy that plays by itself after a child pushes a button has taken over from the wooden blocks of several generations ago which had taken over the sticks and rocks of generations before. My children own several of these large items that have no function. While they sit and collect dust my son is outside playing with a shovel and rocks. His little body works hard moving the rocks spending time in God's creation.

although I grew up in the city, I had the joy of moving to a small town and then the opportunity to drive through the country everyday on my way to higher education. During these drives, I fell in love with watching the seasons change in the land so rich and full of so much nourishment that God has provided us with. Those drives that filled my heart with so much joy and peace have been replaced by sadness as the beautiful old farms with acres of nutrient rich whole foods have been either replaced by subdivisions or are up for sale.

Some extremist would state that population control is the answer. As a natural Catholic, I view my children as the answer. I hope to teach them to

love the earth and creatures that God has given us and to treat dominion over them as a responsibility and a privilege but never to take advantage of it. For to those that much is given, much is expected. This applies to our care of Mother Earth. We must embrace and protect this gift just as we should with other great gifts such as our fertility.

One way to help us embrace this is to find Lady Poverty and treat her like

the Lady she is. As parents it is almost impossible to sell our of our possessions and sing for scraps like St. Francis did. We have a responsibility to feed God's people (our children). However, this should not be an excuse for excess. As I continue to declutter our house, I feel as though I am blessing my children and freeing our family from a life of selfishness and greed to one of fulfillment and peace. This week we plan to sell some of our old toys that for whatever reason they don't play with. Some of the items my children decided they didn't want and others I decided for them based on past play experience. Whatever the reason, I sit with great anticipation to when we can donate a portion of the money.

Humility: Action Part I

So how do we as parents who have lost trust grow in trust so that we may eventually gain humility? The first thing is to pray and reflect on what areas of our life we have the most concern or stress. Is it job stability, family finances, our health, our family size or any other of a multitude of areas that we find it is so difficult to overcome. Depending on your personality, I encourage you to either select your area of greatest mistrust if you like to battle Goliath before for you take on the small tasks, or maybe you would be best to find a smaller area where you can take small steps to success as you are already on the road. Whatever your personality, if any area is causing your heart or soul pain, choose that area first. We will go through some of the most common areas together.

I. Trust in Family Size
God's creating of being able to procreate is in a sad state of disrepair as we value our things (cars, toys, good schools) over trust in God's ability to work within us. It is time that we as Catholics give back in trust to God what God created. God created Adam and Even with the instructions to go forth and multiply. Note there were no conditions or terms such as go forth and multiply only if you receive a promotion or even multiply only if you can ensure that you create healthy children and remain healthy yourself. He simply said, "Go Forth and Multiply." As noted earlier, we must dedicate our lives to trust and holy obedience to our most Holy Father.
As parents, I am sure many of us have experienced upon conception of a child the toy of life and humility in knowing that it is through God that life is given (and taken away). As we expand our trust of God to include all areas of our fertility, we can grow in humility that it is not our bodies that create life. God has blessed women's bodies with plentiful eggs and has blessed men with the similarly amazing ability to produce sperm. It is not by our work or merit that life is created, rather God blesses our lives with children through an act of trust in him and a sharing of love and appreciation for the amazing gift of life that he has shared with us. For we are not creating children rather we are being blessed by God as the gatekeepers of some of his most precious impressionable souls.

Humility

Where can our souls find humility in a culture that only values pride? Whether we are proud to be Irish, proud of our children, or proud of our own accomplishments, we are surrounded by pride. St. Francis and St. Therese in their quest for humility renounced the world and their own imperfect souls and bodies. In the 1950s (not sure about when it was really), psychologist believed that all things of the flesh were sinful and that children are born sinful. Where do things go wrong? In their statements and philosophies they had forgotten that all things of God are good. That rather then dwell on our vile bodies and the sins we are prone to, we need to repent and sanctify. What does this mean as parents? How do we raise our children to be full of love so that they may be better able to understand the perfect love of God our Heavenly Father while simultaneously not filling them with pride in themselves. Is it really necessary to compliment and reward them for their good behaviors or is it just weakening them to a life of seeking satisfaction from the world rather than from God? Can a child understand praise of the child through his Heavenly Father? Just as we would tell a child "you have your mother's beautiful eyes" or "you can catch a fly just as well as your father" what will it take for us to instead praise our children saying "your charity reflects St. Claire" or "God lets His love shine forth from you to all you meet."
I know for my own son, I have always complimented him in hopes of giving him a higher sense of esteem then I left childhood with. However, is it necessary to praise or is it more important to shelter our smallest and most vulnerable of souls from the evils of this material world? Can we comfort and nourish while still preserving humility? I think one key to this is keeping our children close. God our Heavenly Father only allows us as adults to be burdened to the extent that we can bear and He blesses us with the Grace to endure if we seek His counsel. Do we do the same for our children or do we ignore the cruelities of other children saying "kids will be kids" or "we can protect them forever?" In this we can preserve child-like faith in us so that it may one day grow to childlike faith in God. Our children trust us and it is imperative that we preserve that trust. See later writings on trust and the cry it out method. As they grow into greater and deeper trust, they can also grow in humility for before one can be humbled in God who created us, we must first trust our Father that he will always love and care for us. After this trust is formed and we rely on it, then our eyes will begin to be opened to Sister Humility. Sister Humility is the child of Trust. As we trust in God, we see that our life is not dependent on us or our own merits but rather those of He who loves us. We are nothing without His love and thenceforth shall we humble ourselves as it is not us by which great deeds, love, or charity can be done, but by He who created us and is working in us and through us. First we must give ourselves fully mind, body, spirit, (and yes even our pocket books) to God the good Lord who provides all, creates all and loves all.